getting dumped, faded out, brushed off, broken up with blah blah blah. it all sucks.
when you are in a ship of sorts be it a relationship/situationship/complicationship, when it comes to an end, most of us are sitting around in a melting pot of emotions, questions, tears, snot, tissues and wine glasses.
this is all good and well in your late teens and twenties because it seems there is endless amounts of time to wallow around in the pain. however in your thirties and i’m guessing most of my lady mates and bros would agree, we perceive time a lot differently. we should be settled down, have a few rug rats and a mortgage.
now that i am closer to the late 30’s i more mindful of the time i spend mourning any relationship be it romantic or friendship, as time is of the essence and i want to fill my life with “good stuff” and try and get the learning or lesson from the experience. so i give myself a 3 day “get over it” schedule.
day one – the sads
bawl your eyes out. if you are a cryer like i am you may get an odd joy out of this. crying is a great release and having tears physically leave us is like allowing the pain to leave. girlfriends of mine who have used this method have gone as far as to heighten that “sad” feeling by donning the daggy tracksuit pants, purchasing blocks of cadbury dairy milk and setting up camp in front of the television with love actually, titanic and other emotion driven movies to really get the sads out of them. if you aren’t the crying kind then allow your day one to be melancholy or just down. its okay to feel this way. recognize this a part of your process and you have 2 more days to get through before your life gets back to normal.
day two – the sangrys
so when you get up today. hopefully not too puffy eyed from day one, the next wave of emotion come through which is the combination of being sad and angry. sangry. sangry day you will find yourself vacillating between the two. so for example your are livid that he/she has posted a pic themselves out at “da club”, “getting crunk” (what the hell does that mean) and “turn down for wha” (who makes up these terms). or perhaps they have already blocked you on all social media platforms. dialogue in your head goes something like this:
“i cant believe they would do that! what a freakin’ jerk! but i miss him/her sooo much i want them back” sob, sob, sob, sob etc etc
back and forth, back and forth for most of the day. you’ll require less kleenex than day one. the upside of day two is you’ll be so physically exhausted by now that you should fall into heap in your bed, that is if you left your bedroom today, and you will be sleep better and ready for the last day.
day three – the angrys
now that you body and heart has expelled all boo hoo-ness you can focus back on you and get mad. i mean how dare they do this to you? you’re a catch! anyone would be lucky to have you. what they didn’t see in you, someone else, who is much better suited to you will. channelling that anger into devising a plan is fantastic. step one would be shower, step two get rid of the snotty tissues and step three, get out of the house. angry day is a good day to get selfish and write out some killer affirmations too. so grab a pen and paper immediately.
“i am a god/goddess”, “i only attract wonderful people into my circle”, “i am a divine creature that oozes magnificence”.
you’ll notice a shift by the end of day three. something has shifted. changed.
today is the start of the next chapter for you. you may find yourself being drawn back into any of the days that just past. thats okay. acknowledge that. some break ups will be easier to get over than others, but know this, if the universe brought you to it, then the universe will bring you through it.