just over a year ago i made a decision to not drink alcohol.  it wasn’t a long term thing just a few months to kinda get my training on course. i had only set out for a few months of being a social outcast.   in the few years prior i had definitely curbed my party ways.  less drinking til dawn and dancing on tables and more reading writing kale and meditation.  so the change wasn’t as hard as most people assumed.

socially you do become the outcast. “why aren’t you drinking?” became the first thing that fell out of peoples mouths followed by a disapproving look and  “oh just one come on”.  so i just stayed home more in the beginning and went to dinners with friends instead of bars.

by the time i got to three months of being teetotal i decided to crack on to six months.

i learnt by this stage to arrive early and get myself a soda water and lime.  people would just assume its vodka and then not try to coerce me into following them down the rabbit hole.

the thing is life still happens when you stop drinking alcohol. when i say life i mean good things and bad things. everything is pretty much a reason to drink. a shit day at work. a great day at work. the leaving party the coming home party the break up and the make up.

having a drink was the go to for masking the pain of hurt anger sadness guilt shame all the big negative emotions. now i had to face them. instead of diluting it with an expresso martini.

since i couldn’t drink i had to figure out an alternative way to face obstacles like head on! haha! i could finally take charge of situations with a clear mind. i didn’t have the excuses any more.  it was like my lady balls had finally dropped.

as seven months went to eight then blended into eleven and twelve the idea of hitting the town with friends was so unappealling.  i reveled in the fact that i was the designated driver and so did my friends.  i got and still get more of a buzz getting up on a sunday morning early for a walk then sometime in the afternoon close to death from dehydration cringing at sent text messages and praying someone would deliver me pizza to my bedside.

yes there are times that i miss it. but you can still dress up with alcohol still dance (less like an escapee from the local nut house), you can still have conversations (it may take a little more courage to start them but at least  now you can remember them) and you can still have fun (its just a different type).

i’m not interested in having a drink in the near future but i am now in a better relationship with it. more importantly an even better relationship with myself.

it all started because i took action and changed my thoughts.

a-m

x0x0

 

3 comments

  1. Gregg says: February 13, 2016

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